New book — Feeling Life, Patterns of Emotions

We have just published a new book by Krystyna C. Laycraft called Feeling Life, Patterns of Emotions.

To read more or to buy the book, just click on the link in the above paragraph.

Her other books are available from this site, see Creativity as an Order through Emotions and A Journey Through the Lands of Feelings.

New book — Wild Blues, Lessons From the Road

We have just published a new book by Tasha Waite called Wild Blues, Lessons From the Road.

At nineteen, Tasha Waite took comfort in not knowing where she would sleep at night. From weaving through woodsy Ontario in pitch darkness to hitchhiking sunburnt through southern Mexico, Wild Blues is a collection of frightening, enlightening, and amusing tales of a wandering youth. With a decade of hindsight, a straight-forward style complimented by vivid descriptions and an ever-present sense of humour, Tasha extracts from her adventures 19 lessons learned from life on the road.

To read more or to buy the book, just click on the link in the above paragraph.


New book — In Search of Sticks

We have just published a new book by Randy Kaneen.

The book, In Search Of Sticks, is a powerfully written novel with a theme of social justice woven into it throughout. It is a transformational work. The language is beautiful and the essential truths that appear within the details and its larger context give great pause for thought. Randy Kaneen is a skilled and talented storyteller.

To read more or to buy the book, just click on the link in the above paragraph.

New book published – Creativity as an Order through Emotions

We have just published a new book by Krystyna C. Laycraft, Ph.D.

The book, Creativity as an Order through Emotions, contains five stories involving creative young people. The author analyzes their psychological growth and the role of creativity in their lives.

To read more or to buy the book, just click on the link in the above paragraph.

The Healing of Alcoholism

Awarenow has just published a book by Doug Llewellyn entitled, If God Were an Apple Tree. It is a book about the healing of alcoholism—or for that matter any addiction.

Doug hit rock bottom as an alcoholic but was able to bring himself back to a productive life and defeat alcoholism. He now coaches others how to become sober.

A video interview of him describing his journey and his book can be viewed by accessing the following You Tube link:

To purchase this book simply go into our Bookstore and buy it. Enjoy!






Many clusters of thoughts and their attached feelings pass through the space of my being on a daily basis. One of the most pernicious is a group of thoughts composed of all the reasons why it’s not wise to stop and experience the silence surrounding me. The core of this cluster is a feeling that there is not enough time to relax into the presence of awareness that I am. There will never be enough time for that fragment of myself because stopping to relax into a contemplative silence is going to kill all those thoughts. For them, it’s a matter of life and death!

Or maybe something in me thinks it’s just too hard. Too hard? When that thought arises I know I’m in the presence of insanity. Relaxing into the silent presence that I am is effortless! How do I know it’s effortless? I know because I often lie back in a chair, close my eyes and let go of all the accumulated stress. When that happens, I hear the most amazing sounds, including my own breathing. Everything is then vibrating with aliveness and enveloped in a golden hue of inner beauty. It’s like a sunrise in August when the summer is flooded with radiant light. I am then peaceful without doing anything at all! In truth, what’s hard is maintaining a grasping sense of self composed of crazy thoughts that tend to fear death and resist everything that’s happening now.

Life is generous. We can relax anytime, anywhere and slip into a silence that refreshes, enlivens and inspires.

Who Am I?

For a long time I have assumed that I am a ‘separate self’, independent of others– looking out on an external world of objects. Often I have resisted those external objects and judged them lacking. However, the older I get, the more I doubt the idea of such a self.

 When I investigate my actual experience, I notice that thoughts, memories, sensations, perceptions and emotions exist within ‘my’ field of awareness. I used to believe these were unified by ‘me’ and that I was a person who existed as a cohesive form in the world.

But lately I’ve also noticed that my thoughts arise in a particular space.  What I thought was ‘me’ is like a thunder storm in the sky. This ‘storm’ has clouds, noise, flashing lights and rain. This storm that I am exists in space and, strange as it may be, I am also the space!

How do I know I am also the space in which my experiences arise? One day I just lay back against a sofa, after massaging my neck, and closed my eyes. After a while, all the thoughts, memories, sensations, perceptions and emotions disappeared and all that was left was silence. In that silence sat an aware, peaceful ‘looking’ space. In an instant, I saw the space as ‘me’ too!

Noticing that I am the experiences arising within a space of possibility, has altered ‘my’ reality.  I see all the experiences now, but realize they will soon pass.  This realization brings with it a sense of peace. Finally, all my former goals and judgments seem to have lost their power–now all that seems to matter are the relationships happening and the amazing way life is unfolding–right NOW.

Meditation in Motion

There are a million ways to get distracted these days – especially at Christmas. By distracted I mean pulled in all directions, weighed down with demands and stressed out. Is it possible to live in a non-distracted way in these times?  I say “yes”.

One way to get more “present” is to turn some of our activities into meditations. We do this by selecting a task and consciously deciding to enter it deeply–so deeply that our entire attention is focused on the specific steps of the task, as they happen…now.

For example, I have chosen to turn driving into a meditative experience. When I do so, I enter my car as a space of aware presence – not a person. Everything slows down as the mirrors are adjusted and the key is placed in the steering wheel column.  Once the vehicle is moving, the ‘veil of thinking’ that usually exists in the space begins to evaporate.  Consciousness and the car become one.  In this experience, the lights are brighter and the noises louder than usual, but with no invasiveness.  A most definite silence penetrates the environment, along with a profound sense of peace. This is not distracted action. In this joyous cocoon of driving thoughts might arise. Mysteriously, they are often inspired and pertain to the actual driving–to the sequence of events unfolding or the responses that are appropriate in the moment.  Breathing is happening and is noticed.  It becomes an ‘anchor’.  Any loss of awareness is a sign to listen to the breathing again. Driving has now become a sacred and seamless experience of perfection. It is a perfection that is marvelous yet most definitely ordinary. What a delight!

Why can’t we stop the insanity that is happening all around us by turning just about any activity into “meditation in motion”?


The intention of this blog is to pose questions that might grab your attention and also to share some of my own experiences.

Sometimes people are disempowered by their own thoughts and emotions. That is to say – they experience toxic thoughts with attached feelings that seem to be painful and cause discomfort.  The most common responses are to either (1) attempt to escape the pain or (2) indulge in it.

The escape option might turn out to be a flight into more work, shopping or Christmas activities. It could also involve using an excess of powerful substances like alcohol, drugs or food. In this context, these substances are used as a desperate attempt to get away from the mental discomfort.

The indulgence option is simply to wallow in these negative thoughts and emotions so that they ‘eat away’ at a person’s psyche.  That might generate more powerful energies such as anger and hate, or render someone neutralized – unable to move or act at all.

But what if there were a third way of responding? What if you moved right into the aggravating thoughts and emotions and allowed them to be? What if you had the courage to experience them fully? In experiencing them fully, what if space was created around them – and stillness. What if you allowed the silence that resides within to totally envelope and absorb these thoughts and emotions?

What would that look like?  Perhaps just sitting down, closing your eyes, listening to your breathing and effortlessly staying present to what was actually arising inside.  What if the disturbing mental factors became like just one drop of tea entering the Pacific Ocean? What if they were transformed into something miraculous? Isn’t that possibility worth a try?

In my own case, I often turn to food when experiencing thoughts and emotions that make me uncomfortable. When that happens, my eating is not in response to hunger. Certain foods allow me to momentarily ‘escape’ – they shift my mood, appear to nourish me and alter my body chemistry.  But invariably this approach lowers my energy. Not only that – the suffering invariably comes back later with an added burden of guilt.

If I meditate right at the moment when the cravings are most intense, the suffering can be transformed into presence and calmness. That is my practice. Simply falling back into a vast silence within and allowing the disturbing thoughts and feelings to be, without doing anything other than watching, is an alchemical process for me.  My turmoil is transformed into a golden inner sense of peace. Instead of suffering I am then more fully alive and more fully present.

Audrey Mairi’s Work

Audrey Mairi is an author, Trager practitioner, tutor and teacher working in Victoria, BC.  As a Trager practitioner, she uses touch, movement and imagery to unstick people from the mental, emotional and physical patterns that cause discomfort and suffering.  In her latest book, Pathway to Presence, Audrey writes in detail about how to unlock the secrets to fostering greater health, stability, clarity and bliss on a permanent basis. This work is accompanied by an audio CD which offers many exercises showing how to actually experience the states of joy she writes about.  A hard copy of her book can be purchased right here on the AwareNow website, or you can obtain her CD and e-book by visiting Audrey’s website –